Reflections on Perspective

To succeed in life is to be able to transform.
-- Blake Snyder, Save the Cat

Tomorrow is a solstice, the first day of a new season. Locally, it marks the first day of Summer and the longest day of the year. In your part of the world, it may be the first day of winter and the longest night. Regardless, it marks a new beginning.

Tomorrow also happens to be Father's Day and I have two sets of ideas going through my head at the prospect. I'm not sure how to weave them into a single (semi?) coherent post. Instead, I thought I'd work through the more difficult set of thoughts today so that I can spend tomorrow focusing on however much of my family I get to see.

Had my first marriage survived, tomorrow would also have marked my 12th anniversary. Two years ago, I wrote about the view from that moment. It was a happy moment, one filled with filled with love, hope, and dreams.

Ironically, I spoke of knowing then what I hadn't known a decade earlier. My, my. What a difference two years can make.

Two years ago, we bought this house and looked forward to making it a loving, secure home for our family. Today, I am (still) trying to figure out how to work the finances so that I can keep this house...so that it can (eventually) become the family home I'd originally envisioned, a place of security, comfort, creativity, laughter, joy, and (most of all) filled with deep, abiding love. Love freely...and fully...given.

The pronoun may have changed and certain aspects of those hopes may no longer apply or be possible, but the underlying dreams remain the same.

The following poem is dedicated to the perspective I have today and the one I hope to have in the future:

We do not know where our path will lead
Until we look back to see where we have been.

We do not know what we will see
Until we remember what we have seen.

We do not know how we will survive
Until we have healed from the wounds.

Move forward with faith, trust, and hope.
We only fail when we stop believing.

(It's similar to the earlier one, but embodies a different perspective.)

I believe in a better future.

I trust the Universe will help me figure out how to solve the financial problems. I trust the Universe to help me find the loving, trusting, and honorable person I deserve in my life. I trust the Universe to lead me to the woman who will become my best friend, my biggest fan, my greatest inspiration, my best lover, my true partner, and the love of my life.

And I hope that the perspective in two more years is one filled with happiness, security, love, and the family life I've been trying to create for most of my adult life...the family life I truly deserve.

--f

Photo credit: Daniela Goulart

Regarding Home Improvement

We've been in our new home for three months now (though in some ways, it feels like it's been much longer) and I've begun to learn some basic skills I imagine are common to all homeowners. While our home is relatively new (10-15 years), some minor repairs and improvements have already been necessary.

When I stumbled downstairs a few Sunday's ago, looking for my first cup of coffee, JP informed me that the kitchen sink was backed up. Now, I was nervous when she asked me to fix it, as I had no idea what to do. My previous experience with anything even remotely related to plumbing (beyond using a plunger) was as a small child, when my father was the one who did routine maintenance. As I recall, it involved a large pipe wrench, a threading machine, some rather messy (and smelly) paste, and a lot of cursing from my father. With that background, you can imagine that I wasn't looking forward to attempting to fix the sink…especially since I don't even own a pipe wrench, let alone a threading machine.

JP was under the impression that we would need to replace the disposal. She'd already done some research and, based on the links she'd found, it looked do-able. I really didn't want to have to replace the disposal if I could avoid it, so I dug around the Internet for some more information.

I came across a site that suggested checking the trap. After turning off the water to the faucet, I was surprised to discover that I could unscrew the pipes with my bare hands and was able to remove the trap without any tools whatsoever. As soon as I did so, I discovered the problem; the trap was full of eggshells. I dumped those into the trash, rinsed the trap, and then reinstalled it. The sink drained perfectly and, no, there were no leaks afterward.

All told, it took about twenty minutes, much less time than I'd anticipated.

Once, we discovered a leak under the sink. Although I had no idea when I started trying to solve the problem, I quickly traced it to the faucet, which has become slightly unscrewed. After rinsing the rubber washer and tightening the faucet, the leak disappeared.

Another time, JP bought a new light fixture for her office. Now, my electrical experience is about as extensive as my plumbing experience. Still, I knew enough to turn the breaker off and managed to install the new fixture relatively quickly. Since then, we've also replaced the fixture in the kitchen.

A few days after the weather turned, JP mentioned neither her office nor DD's bedroom were getting any heat. I remembered that the home inspection we got prior to buying the house had determined that a heating duct was disconnected under the house. I went into the crawlspace to take a look for myself and traced the loose duct to the vent leading to JP's office. I also noticed that the other ducts were attached using heavy-duty nylon ties. After a quick trip to the local hardware store, I reattached the duct and secured it with a new nylon tie. I'll admit that I wasn't entirely sure this would solve the problem, but it did.

When we started looking for houses, JP expressed a hope that I would be an "active partner" in helping to keep the place up. I wasn't offended; I know I'm not the sort of person you normally think of as being handy. You might ask me to take a look at your website or to troubleshoot your network, but you probably wouldn't confuse me with Tim Taylor. During my previous stint as a homeowner (my first marriage), I was involved in a total of zero improvement projects. I knew JP knew this as well, so I understood her concern.

I also knew that JP's prior experience as a homeowner (in her previous marriage) was less than satisfying because it was, um, difficult to get some projects finished.

As it's turned out, though, I think I'm proving to be a quick learner. Oh, sure, there are days when I would rather be doing anything but working on the house, unpacking, or reorganizing. Nevertheless, I do think I've been an active partner. I hope so, at least.

Photo credit: NASA

Phenomenon (Do Do Doo Doot)!

Today's Sunday Scribblings prompt is phenomenon, which (of course) brought to mind the classic Muppets sketch with Sandra Bullock.

For geekier among you, I also found this X-Files take off. It made me laugh. I freely admit my (no-so) inner geek.



(I believe I've previously mentioned my fondness for Muppets...and X-Files?)

So, it's a perfect prompt for me. Phenomenon. Do Do Doo Doot!

And, for those wondering about our recent move... Well, JP's done a nice recap of the day itself. Since then, we've been trying to get the rest of our stuff out of the old place while working our stuff into the new place.

Because of JP's back, I'm left doing most of the heavy lifting, literally and figuratively. I'm also learning how to be a handy person. Today was filled with chores around the house, things like reorganizing the boxes in the garage (so someone could walk through), putting up a new bathroom fixture for JP, replacing the shower head, and so on. Friday, I rescued one of the cats (Pouncer) from under the back deck...only to (later) learn that she knew a way out of there in the first place. Oh, yes, I've also been trying to learn how to mix the appropriate chemicals for our hot tub.

It's a lot of hard work, this moving business. But, I love our new home. We're making it ours and, while it's a lot of work and aching muscles, it's also fun (in an odd way).

Of course, I look forward to the time when "fun" in our new home doesn't involve a lot of work on my part.